Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
