Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
