are you still at the devil's house?
what day is it and did you see me today?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
