Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
