I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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