Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
