I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
