i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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