he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
