Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
