If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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