Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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