Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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