There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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