I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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