i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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