I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
