I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
