There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
