You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
