Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
