people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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