I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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