Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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