You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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