i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
