just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's like iHOP with fire
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
