Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what day is it and did you see me today?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
