I smell stomach acid.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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