I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
