In the future we'll all be gay
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
