I want to stick my p in your. b.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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