Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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