So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
