I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
