How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
