I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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