Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
