Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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