I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
