I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
