You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
