I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
