The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
