Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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