I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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