Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
