Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
