I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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