i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
