i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
